⋙ Read Why I Left the Amish A Memoir Saloma Miller Furlong 9780870139949 Books

Why I Left the Amish A Memoir Saloma Miller Furlong 9780870139949 Books

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Why I Left the Amish A Memoir Saloma Miller Furlong 9780870139949 Books

Before reading Mrs. Furlong's account of growing up Amish, I had admired the sect for it's plain and simple teachings. However, once I encountered Mrs. Furlong's upbringing in a dysfunctional family where accounts of incest between her brother and sisters took place, my view of what I had considered to be innocent Christian beliefs were expectantly shattered. I will never look at the sect the same again. They have the same issues as everyone but they keep the violence quiet because they are allowed to handle crimes within the sect so the "English' law does not prosecute them by 'our ways'. I hope that things have changed since Mrs. Furlong has written her memoir as I want to believe that this sect is perfect, without hurt and without crime. However, I expect that everyone is the same no matter how much they want you to believe otherwise. The plain clothes and demeanor are just tools to fools the 'English' into thinking that they have found a better way of living their lives.


Tags : Why I Left the Amish: A Memoir [Saloma Miller Furlong] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. <DIV><P> There are two ways to leave the Amish―one is through life and the other through death. When Saloma Miller Furlong’s father dies during her first semester at Smith College,Saloma Miller Furlong,Why I Left the Amish: A Memoir,Michigan State University Press,0870139940,Amish - Ohio,Amish - Ohio - Social life and customs,Amish;Ohio;Biography.,Amish;Ohio;Social life and customs.,Families - Ohio,Furlong, Saloma Miller,Furlong, Saloma Miller - Childhood and youth,Furlong, Saloma Miller - Family,Parent and child - Ohio,Parent and child;Ohio.,Amish,BIOGRAPHY & AUTOBIOGRAPHY Personal Memoirs,Biography,Biography Autobiography,Christianity - Amish,Ohio,Parent and child,Personal Memoirs,RELIGION Christianity Amish,Religion,ReligionChristianity - Amish,Social life and customs

Why I Left the Amish A Memoir Saloma Miller Furlong 9780870139949 Books Reviews

Well written book by a woman with a compelling story to tell. The story alternates between past and present in an easily readable way. There are multiple instances of abuse that are shocking but for the most part not graphic. The abuse does not drive the narrative as much as the overall family dynamic and the insight into how the lack of oversight in a branch of a closed society can leave the most vulnerable exposed. The book is written with grace and the absence of malice that is heartening. I was left wanting more as the book does not cover much after her departure.
I think it is appropriate that "Why I Left the Amish" has a picture of the author as a little girl on the cover because her voice throughout the book is that of a little girl, even when she describes her life long after she has left the community. She does write beautifully but there is a simple, almost simplistic tone, and that would be my only criticism of the book. The circumstances are intriguing. She certainly gives us much more of an insight into Amish life than we usually get. I hope that her particular situation is not common because her family was massively dysfunctional. Her father was mentally ill and physically and emotionally abusive. Her mother, intelligent, angry and frustrated that she was expected to be completely submissive to this incompetent man, attached herself to the oldest son and emotionally neglected the girls. Unfortunately that son was even more abusive than the father and he sexually assaulted the girls - but the mother looked the other way. It is disappointing that the Amish community could not find a way to help this struggling family but left them to their own and expected complete submission to the father. (And, BTW, the civil authorities were no help either - when the abuse was reported they would not investigate unless someone over 21 consented.)

Saloma goes into great detail about her struggle with the Amish point of view - particularly submission. As her situation at home deteriorates, she realizes she has to go. That section of the book where she bravely makes her escape is very exciting. Fortunately, she finds her way out in the "world", marries well, has a family and as they grow up she is finally able to realize her dream of going to college. She is very brave to share all the ugly details of her struggle with us. Leaving such a closed community (whom she still loves) takes great courage. The Amish "shun" those who leave but she did have some contact with her family and that part is touching. I suspect that if they ever read this book they won't like it! I highly recommend it.
I don't regret reading this book, but it is a somewhat odd memoir. The focus of the story is the childhood of the author in a toxic and violent Amish family. She positions her memories around a "real time" trip to her father's funeral, a device that doesn't work all that well. At times during the story, I felt that the situations described were not that uniquely Amish, but rather drearily familiar to anyone who grew up in a large (or even small) family where the adults were not up to the task of parenting. Before I read this book, I had just finished reading "Leaving the Saints" by Martha Beck, which is about a woman who grew up in a large, dysfuntional Mormom family with similar forces of religious fanaticism, patriarchy, and neglect/abuse/violence, also culminating in the author's rejection of her childhood community and religion. Although I cringed at times at the less than polished writing in "Why I Left the Amish", Beck's book was so slickly written that at times I wondered if she was embellishing -- a concern that I did not have at all with this book. I found Saloma's accounts quite convincing. However, the book that really opened my eyes to some of the complexities of Amish life was "Rumspringa" by Tom Shachtman (2006), which I recommend. It cured me of my romantic notions (shared by most Americans, I think) about the Amish and their pastoral lives. Their culture has some positive aspects (I admire their pacifism and rejection of materialism), but unfortunately it seems built on depriving people of education, inducing fear of the world, extreme patriarchy where women and girls have little status, and religious fundamentalism. It seems like Saloma is too easy on the Amish culture, and works hard to sound balanced. She also fails to share why she returned to the Amish once after leaving. In short, although this book is flawed, we are still lucky to have it, as it is a thoughtful, firsthand account of Amish life. I agree with the person who said there will be more of these memoirs in the future. As the Amish population grows, more of them have to work in the "English" world, which brings them into contact with the rest of us. Even from Saloma's story you can see that it was her contacts with English women via her house-cleaning work that helped her figure out how to leave her family. The large families that the Amish continue to have may prove detrimental in the long run to their culture and their ability to retain their members.
Before reading Mrs. Furlong's account of growing up Amish, I had admired the sect for it's plain and simple teachings. However, once I encountered Mrs. Furlong's upbringing in a dysfunctional family where accounts of incest between her brother and sisters took place, my view of what I had considered to be innocent Christian beliefs were expectantly shattered. I will never look at the sect the same again. They have the same issues as everyone but they keep the violence quiet because they are allowed to handle crimes within the sect so the "English' law does not prosecute them by 'our ways'. I hope that things have changed since Mrs. Furlong has written her memoir as I want to believe that this sect is perfect, without hurt and without crime. However, I expect that everyone is the same no matter how much they want you to believe otherwise. The plain clothes and demeanor are just tools to fools the 'English' into thinking that they have found a better way of living their lives.